stream of unconciousness

hello world!  3rd year second sem bay-beeee. to all you haters, booyah!  i can’t believe i made it this far, hehehe but here i am:)

so far the sem has been pretty sucky though.  as grateful as i am about still being around, i can’t kick the old habit of slacking off the first part of a semester.  i think it’s partly because of the schedule i have (as pointed out by sharry).  during the week i only have 1 class with my block, the rest, i’m either an international student or the class is an elective.  i find sharing classes with the block really helps me out.  i mean, it’s almost impossible to ignore the fact that everybody else is studying for the class except you.  this sem i don’t have that luxury since only my saturday classes are with them.  so here i am, 3 weeks in to the semester and still acting like it’s semestral break.  i spend my weekdays either sleeping in the lounge, talking to random people or playing that goddammed ‘alien shooters’ game on the lounge PC.  Cesar beat my inhuman score of around 8 million by a measly 12 thousand…ugh, the one thing i had going for me in law school and he had to take it from me.  dam u cesar bruan, dam you

i realize i almost always blog when i’m pissed or down or something.  im now convinced this is therapeutic:)  helps me sort stuff out and makes me realize how stupid my problems are.  tonight’s one of those nights.

no, i dont really have ‘a problem’.  it’s more, i’m in a ‘blah’  mood.  right now, i feel the only way i can really enjoy life is if i become a secret agent of some sort.  NO i haven’t even watched casino royale yet, this has just always been a fantasy of mine.  NO it’s not coz i want to be like jeniffer garner.  i’d like to be more of an ethan hunt type hehehe you know, part of a team.  for me it’s the best job in the universe. 

first of all, you get to have a secret identity.  very cool.  you get to play a role.  meaning no matter what you do, you don’t have to worry about being ‘true’ to yourself, coz hey, your NOT yourself…everything is business and you dont have to worry about your conscience (ok, fine maybe a LITTLE, in some situations) bothering you.

next, you get to train in self defense, ammunitions, code breaking…all that cool stuff.  you’d be like a modern day ninja with all your training.  man, i wish i was a ninja…

next, chances are, since you’re undercover, your expenses would be subsidized, living, food all that…you wouldn’t have to pay a cent from your salary.  i mean, wouldn’t it look bad if your cover was that you were a wealthy arms dealer from vietnam, but then people saw you eating in some side-of-the-road canteen in you’re $10,000 suit, just so u could save a few bucks?  ofcourse it would, it would ‘compromise the mission’  (and getting to say ‘compromise the mission’ is also very cool in itself).  another cool thing about having the ‘agency’ pay for everything is that you won’t have to worry about wrecking anything, heck i’m sure repairs for the porche is part of the budget.

next, you get to travel a lot!

meet people from all walks of life!

get to carry a gun!

great health benefits!

get to use lines like "i’m going to get you out of here"

ok, so now the downside.  you never really get to meet new friends outside whoever it is you work with.  you can never really have a life of your own.  you always worry about somebody coming after you.  you always worry if your a good person and if people really like you for who you are or for who you’re ’suppose to be’ (naks, deep), you get limitted contact with friends and family…

ok yah, i guess being a secret agent can blow.  sigh.  great, nothing to look forward to in life. 

Oooh!!  a vampire!  now THAT would be cool…you’d get to have like superhuman strength, and you move really fast, and you’d live for like…forever….and you’d be really smart coz your so old…and you get to travel and..

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