stream of unconciousness

today was a big disappointment.

it started out well enough, classes suspended.  but as the day went on, it was just one big let-down.  i honestly don’t know if our culture has any hope at all. 

i was in line at mercury drug around dinner time to buy 5 cans of coke.  i went to the fridge they sold them at and stacked them up barehanded, like round legos.  while lining up behind the only person in line, this woman in her fourties walks in, puts her groceries down with the guard, gets something from the shelves and nonchallantly stands next to the person in front of me.  "she must know him" i remember thinking.  well, surprise of surprises, she didn’t.  she was just plain and simply…cutting.

THAT fuckin fucker.  i know we should respect our elders, and give people the benefit of the doubt in these situations, BUT DAMN!  (the only form of respect i could muster up was not saying anything and just contented myself to crowding her with my coke-saber while she was paying…and bashing her in my blog)

if in fact she was extremely tired from walking "all the way" from shopwise (5 minutes away-if you’re on crutches), or her drunk wife-beating husband wanted her home right away, or she had some bad oysters for dinner, or whatever justifies cutting in front of the ONLY person in line…she could have atleast had the decency to ask permission!  she couldn’t have missed me!  i’m 5′11, have long hair, and looked like i hadn’t taken a bath and just stayed home the whole day, plus, i was holding 25 inches worth of red cans in front of me.  God of Abraham!  if our elders can’t even pay the simple courtesy of getting in line, how can we expect our youth to?  i pity her kids, i bet they’ll end up in prison before they learn algebra.

i remember in back in grade school, cutting in line was a HUGE deal.  u had to make up stupid gimmiks to do it (what do scissors do?  cut.  Ei, thanks!).  no matter how thirsty you were from P.E., you ALWAYS had to line up for your turn at the drinking fountain, even if it was behind the annoying geeks that didn’t even break a sweat coz they found an excused from PE that day.

this is why the whole ultra stampede happened!!!!!!  fuckin dog-eat-dog, it’s not cool to be courteous to people you don’t know attitude.  may god have mercy on our souls.

as to the more pressing issue of GMA’s "state of emergency" announcement…i’d rather not comment.  politics and all the jazz are just way too gray an area to have an actual stand in.  no wait, pwede pala.  stand ko:  gloria macapagal arroyo is a hypocrite and just another scrub trying to save her own ass but trying to not make it look too obvious.  …but this ofcourse is our general attitude as filipinos, so it wouln’t be right for me to really hate her for….no wait, TAMA, it’s right that i do…coz that would make me a hypocrite…proving my thesis that we’re all self-serving hypocrites.

hope everybody else had a better day.

(i can’t exactly hate the police who beat the protesters, i saw the news footage, those guys were throwing rocks and stuff at them…shit, you throw rocks at me while i’m doing my job, i’ll friggin go rodney king on your kayumanggi ass…)

(this ofcourse is assuming those power tripping mofos didn’t instigate the violence…coz shit, if you start poking me with a wooden stick and ask me to stop exercising my constitutionally protected right to peacefully assemble…i’d fuckin grab a rock and go david v. goliath on ur overweight ass too)

UP lost to UE by five points kanina.  that pretty much put our chances of a repeat at: slim.  i was thinking though, during that solemn half hour after a major loss- when everybody pretty much has DICK to say to eachother and just sits around like jobless immigrants, "i’d rather lose with the guys i’m with than win with another team."

the loss was definitelly a heartbreaker, everybody had high expectations from us, going undeafeated last year, and snagging UP the championship trophy in basketball for the first time since God knows when.  sigh, to have our hopes snuffed out so early in the season like that…that sucked.

anyway, back to my pretentious, i’ma-philosophic-guy "epiphany"… 

the loss blew, but i realized that it’s just one of the sacrifices one has to make to be able to partake in the whole "experience" of being on a team.  remembering the practices, the petty squabbles, the messing around, getting to know the guys, the high-fives, the strategizing, the drawing up of plays, the critiquing of the team’s performance, the drinks after the practices, the dinners after the games and  just the camaraderie in general, are infinitelly more than enough to soothe the sting of a loss.

A bunch of the team had dinner after. and with the amount of goofing around and talking about anything and everything OTHER than the loss going on in the table, you wouldnt’v guessed that the same group of guys was almost in tears just an hour ago.  the loss apparently hadn’t even left a dent.  man! now daz dat bad boyz shiat!  ride together, die together. 

(sorry, couldn’t resist, had to fit that in somewhere)

winning tonight would’ve been great, but hey, losing together, that comes in a close second.

so here’s to all those unforgettable "teams" we’ve ever had the privilige of being a part of, and to the "teams" that currently fill and enrich our lives.

to the team, tough loss, too bad we couldn’t get 2 straight (but hey, atleast we have last year’s championship to keep us warm at night, eh?), to the rookies specifically, RESPECT, we couldn’tv asked for a better group of new guys - we’ll be violently spanking law student butts next year, it’s written in the stars. 

done.  damn, monday na.

"i love to hear a choir sing, i love the humanity to see the faces of real people devoting themselves to a piece of music.  i like the teamork.  it makes me feel optimistic about the human race when i see them cooperating like that."  - Paul McCartney

holla!  its been a while since i’ve posted an entry here.  blame it on civpro i guess.  but here i am, so we all know what that means…i dropped that shit like an ant-infested burrito.  heheheh i’ve sort of made peace with my cowardice with the thought that i’d hate myself exponentially more had i stayed on, failed, and got kicked out of school.  all you psych majors out there can call it sourgraping, but just to keep me sane and my ego in tact, i’m going to call it: "the right move."

with newfound freedom, i…

i saw my friend ej’s play last week at the camp aguinaldo theater.  he was playing romeo in romeo in juliet.  the play was ok, but what made it extra interesting and what kept me glued was seeing my friend on stage acting out shakespear.  dam!  what a trip.  when it was all over and the actors were taking their bows, i couldn’t help but give up a jologs "yeeeuh!!" when it was his turn.  screw crowd etiquette, mah boy’z playin lead!!!  hahahaha eege, if ur reading this, much props!  and cool love scene dood…i could tell you were wearing black boxers underneath the tights though hahah

i’m writing this right after UP Law beat PUP in conflicts of law kanina.  it was our first game as defending champions, and it was a thriller.  we won by 5 points i think.  it started out pretty slow for us, our offense was stinkin up Arellano gym the first couple of minutes.  i guess we weren’t used to the tempo.  we were up against friggin energizer bunnies, running all over the place, slapping at the ball every opportunity they could, KICKING us even when THEY were taking jump shots (this ain’t yo lunch-break and we ain’t in the docks u friggin fuck)….  we were forced to run despite having two 6-plus-footers on our side (giving us an advantage in the post).  in the end though, we were just too big for them down low, as aman put it, the paint was a no-fly-zone today.  but, again semi-quoting aman, i think the bottom line was just that our players had too much heart and pride to lose in their first game as champs.  dam that was sweet.

on that note, i’d like to quote gene hackman’s character in "the replacements": "greatness, no matter how brief stays with a man."  shiat, doesn’t that push a button?  i can still remember playing in my first game as part of the high school varsity team in westbridge.  it was against the saint vincent ferrer seminary, we won, i had 4 points.  i can still remember how i scored them, and the subsequent high fives and pats on the ass i got from teammates like ram yoro, basketball GOD during those days.  right after the game i felt like michael friggin jordan, i was the baddest 12 year old in the world.  the team ofcourse won by atleast 12 points, and the points i scored were hardly spectacular or crucial to the win, but still, they were the game winners as far as i was concerned. 

man, if only everybody had an outlet that presented opportunities for those small voctories that do so much to the self-esteem.  there would be a whole lot less insecure, overcompensating mofos in the world.  after all, why would you feel the need to act like a tough guy or mr. know-it-all or like a an ass in general, when you friggin: SCORED 4 POINTS IN YOUR LAST GAME , BESTING YOUR PREVIOUS RECORD OF 0! (holla!) , or, QUALIFIED FOR ‘TOURNAMENT OF CHAMPOIONS’ IN VIDEO JEOPARDY! (i’m yo daddy!) hehehe seriously though, i mean it.  sometimes i feel the need to have these things to hold on to in those instances when i feel like a total directionless bum (especially in law school).  bad recit?  bakit mam, ikaw kaya tanungin ko about stuff i’ve spent my whole miserable life studying: how do you get 30 lives in contra?  (up up down down left right left right b a b a start on the opening screen BIAAAATCH!  sit down, your an embarassment to this college)  …failed a course?  fuck it, basket nalang sir, pustahan ng grade.  …without them i’d probably either be crying myself into a fetal position in the shower every night or a gun-toting wannabe gangsta.

dam, i bet all you educated folk think i’m a total mental case.  i’m just telling it as it is.  so there, now everybody  knows the secret to my swagger, I SCORED 4 POINTS AGAINST SAINT VINCENT FERRER SEMINARY WHEN I WAS A HIGH SCHOOL FRESHMAN.